The Sole Noel

It's hard to deny that it's close to Christmas. And it also means that the end of the year has come. To me, it's quite hard to steep the feels of Christmas since the atmosphere around me is extremely unsuitable for that. 

There's no snow, the sun shines so bright instead. No Santa. No cookies (That's the worst part). There's no beloved one to spend Christmas with. And this year, the Christmas tree stays in the attic, since everyone is too lazy to take it out.

I didn't say I don't know what's the true meaning of Christmas. But with those feelings and celebrations, it should be far better. Then, I tried to make fun by myself, as hey, it's the holy holiday already. I'll still spend it here, but holiday can be anywhere.

EPIC:

They who are in vacation in the Attic:

Ebenezer Scrooge, humbug:

The bookworm's holiday stack of stock:

That's how I'll spend holidays, fooling around and becoming a true bookworm. But Christmas is not just about celebrations and fun. It has a deep meaning.

I believe, that Jesus is truly the only way. I celebrate Christmas because it's His birthday.

And in the end, I can only say:

Cheers and have a happy holiday,

Bobby

When You Encounter Bad Things

It is very pathetic, for someone to have bad days in a row. Or in other words, to have a bad week. And that someone, my friend, is the very person you know, the very person who is behind these words.

That was me.

First thing first, the final tests. There's NOTHING worse that this thing. But everything will get worse if you: a) Are having a toothache, b) Met up with a girl that suits your type.

Yes, finally I've paid visit to the dentist. And what I got is a pathetic, exceeded pain that lasts for 5 days or what (Until NOW). The dentist said that everything will be alright; and I tried to trust on her but I simply can't. And from my 2 brief visits, I have got bad things besides the pain itself. I've tasted a drill inside my mouth, needles, and even a superbly long hose.

And I've got the followings.

DEAR MRS. DENTIST, I SUGGEST YOU TO:
01. Reduce your blinding light.
02. Tell your patient when to open or close your mouth; I ended up opening my mouth for around an hour.
03. Do NEVER put a loud-roaring engine inside your practice space, that surely surprises your patient.
04. Install an Air-Conditioner within the space.
05. Strawberry or Chocolate flavored serum.
06. Not asking stuffs to your patient.

Among others. And what is pathetic is the fact that the dentist did those things to me. Yes, she entangled me in a conversation while she was checking into my mouth.

Dentist: (Checking my mouth) "Does that hurt?"
Me: (Mouth opened) "Uh-uh."
Dentist: (Injecting my tooth) "Did you use this side for eating?"
Me: (Mouth opened) "Nuh-uh."
Dentist: (Putting a hose into my mouth) "Hey, did you come to the choir rehearsal yesterday?"
Me: (Hose inside my mouth) "Ah-nuh."

And so on. Even though I just needed to say "Yes" or "No", but with your mouth opened and stuffs inside it, you can barely say a word. And your head must stay still, so you can't nod or shake your head for the answer. And I'm pretty sure, the dentist didn't know which one is "Yes", "No", or "Quite".

So that was my first sadness, and I should come there again for the third check. Duh.

And then, several days ago, I was strolling around the city and through into a plaza. I was rushing to the restroom to wash my face, since I slept in the car and I surely needed a face-wash to got rid of the sleepy effect on my face.

Then this girl came through, and walked in front of me.

On why meeting up with a girl is a bad thing:
You will be thinking of her for at least 3 days ahead. And since it's meeting without stopping; not knowing, bigger chance comes to 'You won't meet her again'.

Yeah, so she was clearly my type (But I can't describe the type, but I know of it). Oddly enough, she dressed in pink too. Maybe she was that girl, but I guess she's another. But I don't know for sure, since both are my type, so both may look similar.

She was walking to the restroom, too. And she walked VERY fast. I'm telling you, the way to the restrooms was this narrow, and quite-long and intricate dim alley. She was walking in front of me, so I must be behind her (Of course!?). I kept our distance for around 3 meters.

And suddenly, she turned her head back and stared at me.

She turned her head for around 5 times along her journey to the restroom. And I could tell she was looking at me, since there was no one other behind. Unless she got sixth-sense or what. And what I'm afraid of, is if she thought that I was stalking her.

Yeah, that's possible. But I was glad she looked back at me. Though I didn't know what was in her thoughts. And that was before we both arrived in front of the restrooms: female's straight ahead, and male's on the right.

And she turned right.

I stopped at the corner of the alley, and waited there. Uh-oh. I surely didn't want to get into that room with a girl inside. 10 seconds, and she ran out of the room, glanced at me, and rushed toward the female's.

Tongue in cheek.

I could see her pretty face blushed red. Then slowly I strode into the room, washed my face, and went out. I stepped my feet back into the alley, and the girl had just come out and quickly walked away. Again, she glanced at me. But at the end of the alley, I turned left and she turned right. So that was the end of that strange meeting, and I spent my time wandering around with the hope to see that girl again.

But I didn't.

So I classified that as a bad thing. Really, it was a bad thing to be in such situation. And worse, you didn't know what to do. So, it indeed was really a bad thing.

Well, the repeated thrice 'bad thing' should be a very clear indication.

A Crackled Enamel

Everything was all right. Nothing was wrong, I had my life as how it should be. I could do anything without any problem. Unless if the thing itself is a problem.

It was a week ago, before I felt this...pain. Tracing back, I found the source: the pain came from inside my mouth. Tracing deeper, I felt the pain right inside my mouth, right on the left side of my mouth. And tracing even deeper, it came from one of my teeth.

I have heard warnings from my school dentist, she said, "You have a hole in your teeth. Go to the dentist." You all know that she was talking of a professional dentist. By the way, I ignored her warnings, since it felt okay; nothing was wrong. And furthermore, how could that be? I hadn't eaten any sweets, chocolate, or anything that parents say to their kids can cause a toothache. I had reasons to ignore her warnings.

But back to several days ago, I felt this pain, and I dared to knock my teeth, where I guessed the pain came from. And...

Ouch.

Maybe God found out this naughty boy, who didn't want to hear the advice from Mrs. Dentist. Whatever the source, but I've got this very painful feeling. And I knew, at that very moment: I got a toothache.

This is my very first time, having a toothache. I don't know what to do, I even haven't told my Mum about this. I'm afraid someone will tie my head with a white cloth, and that will make me looks like I'm wearing a ribbon on my head. No. But it is exceedingly painful on the other hand. I can't sleep well, and even more painful, what I have to do is to punch my left cheek for the 10-minutes-painkiller.

The pain won't ever get lost.

And there's no other way than going to dentist. I'll tell Mum as soon as possible. And as for now, if tomorrow will be the end of the day, the last place I want to be is:

Because I don't want to rest with any additional pain; that's not peaceful.

Make a Wish

Several days ago, I was walking toward my house, in the midst of the tranquility of the night.

You have to know that opposite from the house of mine was a row of other houses, which roofs were not that high.

Then came this thing, across the black night sky.

It flew so fast, high from the sky and quickly swooped down until it disappeared on the back of one of the house. You may say 'It was merely a spotlight'. There were many spotlights around my house indeed, as my house was located close to a TV studio, which frequently appeared in the midst of night's clutches. But there was none of them was that bright, that big, that clear, and it was simply a spot, without the light tailed below it.

As a boy, whose work is reading and daydreaming, the first thing that came crossing in my mind was that it was something, it was a creature. And hence seeing this, my life will be changed forever. So can you read my mind? If no, go figure.

Then someone told me, 'It may be a shooting star'.

With all my senses, I finally thought, yes, it may be the truth.

So I quickly opened an unofficial board, letting people channel their wishes through me, so that I could send them to the presumably shooting star. Actually I myself doubted it, or in other words, I was still hoping it to be some sort of alien or extra-terrestrial or what.

 It was quite a ridiculous phenomenon, which existence might be questioned. It was very rare, but when someone witnessed it, things became challenging and thus the truth was still needed to be questioned. Then someone spread this rumor, an urban legend or a belief, which truth should be questioned too. Some thought it was simply a tongue-in-cheek, but some really believed in it. There was nothing wrong in it, actually, but people might thought it was kinda ridiculous. But I was never too late to do a thing.

Yes, a thing. Go figure.

Before You Sleep

I can't believe I will be able to see some things that I do really miss. But magically, several days ago I found them; and one among them is my most precious, favorite childhood book:

Even until now, I do like the book, still. It consists of children rhymes, some of them are dramatic, some are just how rhymes should be, and some are funny. But all of them are really nice to give you tongue-in-cheek before you sleep, accompanied with nice kiddy-toned illustrations.

The followings are the rhymes that stand out among the others for me.

The Moon by Robert Louis Stevenson

The moon has a face like the clock in the hall;
She shines on thieves on the garden wall,
On streets and fields and harbour quays,
And birdies asleep in the forks of the trees.

The squalling cat and the squeaking mouse,
The howling dog by the door of the house,
The bat that lies in bed at noon,
All love to be out by the light of the moon.

But all of the things that belong to the day
Cuddle to sleep to be out of her way;
And flowers and children close their eyes
Till up in the morning the sun shall rise.

Block City by Robert Louis Stevenson

What are you able to build with your blocks?
Castles and palaces, temples and docks.
Rain may keep raining, and others go roam,
But I can be happy and building at home.

Let the sofa be mountains, the carpet be sea,
There I'll establish a city for me:
A kirk and a mill and a palace beside,
And a harbour as well where my vessels may ride.

Great is the palace with pillar and wall,
A sort of a tower on top of it all,
And steps coming down in an orderly way
To where my toy vessels lie safe in the bay.

This one is sailing and that one is moored:
Hark to the song of the sailors on board!
And see on the steps of my palace, the kings
Coming and going with presents and things!

Now I have done with it, down let it go!
All in a moment the town is laid low.
Block upon block lying scattered and free,
What is there left of my town by the sea?

Yet as I saw it, I see it again,
The kirk and the palace, the ships and the main,
And as long as I live where'er I may be,
I'll always remember my town by the sea.

The Policeman by Jan Struther

Every few hours
Throughout the night
He comes to see
That the Square is all right.
Slowly and solemnly
Round he goes
On his great flat feet
With their great blunt toes,
Shifting his very
Portentous weight
From side to side
With a rolling gait.
He flashes his lantern
Up and down;
His brows are bent
In an ominous frown
To see him you'd think
No thief would dare
To crack a crib
In Sycamore Square.

Yet when he's at home
You'll probably find
He's a jovial man
And extremely kind,
Who likes his pint
And a kipper for tea
The same as you —
Or, at any rate, me.

Daddy Fell Into the Pond by Alfred Noyes

Everyone grumbled. The sky was grey.
We had nothing to do and nothing to say.
We were nearing the end of a dismal day,
And there seemed to be nothing beyond.

THEN

Daddy fell into the pond!

And everyone's face grew merry and bright,
And Timothy danced for sheer delight.
"Give me the camera, quick, oh quick!
He's crawling out of the duckweed."

Click!

Then the gardener suddenly slapped his knee,
And he doubled up, shaking silently,
And the ducks all quacked as if they were daft
And it sounded as if the old drake laughed.

O, there wasn't a thing that didn't respond

WHEN

Daddy fell into the pond!

There are still many more nice rhymes too long to be written here. We realize that sometimes, things like these make us wish we are a child forever.

Island

Yes, I did attend another wedding party. Or frankly, I attended two wedding parties in a row in the days of my weekend.

The first, which was held on Saturday, was nothing special. It actually was a gold anniversary party, and I barely enjoyed the songs - of course, the band played Pop's appetite. And they even hired a lady rocker, which was actually in the same age of my late Granny. So seventies.

But the one which was held in Sunday, was an unbeatable beauty.

It was held on a golf field, but I prefer to refer it as 'island'. In fact, it looks like one; with a superbly large lake, that may look like a sea, plus crystal sands make it appear like a beautiful shore. Below the light of the moon, the island was a perfect place for a date, a candle-light dinner, or a wedding, of course.

Opposite the lake was another island - which was actually the same island, but the access to cross the lake was FAR on the east. Peer from the edge of the island, and you got to see the palm trees, and also beautiful fountains on the surface of the dark water of the lake.

The view was astonishing.

It may the simple definition of paradise. I barely mind the bride - who was actually my former course teacher - swayed by the beauty of the island. Then I tried to list the following:

6 ADVANTAGES OF LIVING ON A PERSONAL ISLAND

01. Since it is under your personal ownership, you may shout around with no worry of a wise old man that will reprove your acts.

02. Dig a little hole, put a flag, grab a stick, and you get a free golf.

03. Limitless stock of water from the sea.

04. And of course, free swimming pool.

05. Or grab a ball, plug two sticks, and you'll be able to play soccer - essentially, you can do anything you want.

06. When soccer or golf become dull, you can build sandcastles anytime.

6 DISADVANTAGES OF LIVING ON A PERSONAL ISLAND

01. With no companion, loneliness will definitely haunt you.

02. It may be creepy to be alone on the island in the night.

03. There's no use of living on a personal island, if you still have your homeworks.

04. By the way, sea water may be limitless, but then it is saltwater. And no one WANTS to drink saltwater.

05. (Related to point 01.) You may be able to play soccer, but will you play with no foe?

06. You may fell like you're a castaway.

Indeed, I am now dreaming of buying a personal island, build a super-cozy house on it, and live peacefully. But then dream is dream - unless I'm destined to be a zillionaire in the future.

Or I'll stay on the golf field.

Wedding

There were too many familiar faces.

Brevity, I attended a wedding reception of my Mum's friend's son. I used to know him and his family, but then I was 4 when I knew them, and it has been 9 years ago, so I may have forgotten their faces. Problem is they REMEMBER me very well, and thus I have to ask my Mum where they are; not which one, just to cover my stupidity, so at the very least I don't have to ask 'Sorry, who are you?' when they greet me.

Now forget the awkwardness. You can't tell when I don't act awkwardly; nearly NEVER. Attending a wedding party gives me an idea of life. It just suddenly popped out inside my mind, "Will this ever happen to me?".

I hate to admit that everything looked tremendously beautiful. The room itself was beautiful, and everyone's happy. Kids running happily here to there, and some teenagers were happy in other way; tasting any kinds of fancy food. The band sang love songs, and they were happy. Apart from my lack of concerns, the same question always wanders in around my head.

Still a kid, I am. But I frequently think of my future. Will I finish my study well? Where will I attend my college? Will I be what I want to be? Will I finish my book and be an author? Or will I ever get a keyboard and be a musician? Then, will I find a pretty girl I land my heart on, date her, propose her, and marry her? What will I do in my final years, and will somebody accompany me until the end of my life? This questions are actually unanswerable; again, I'm still a kid. It will be a long years of waiting to see the answer.

But sometimes, I realize myself as a part of the infamous Queen song:

"I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me!"

Sometimes, I wish to get back to the beginning of everything, to get everything fixed and then go with my right life. But now, I wish I can skip everything and just GET THERE. Just to see what great plan He has prepared for me.

But sometimes I'm afraid, the questions are just questions, what if the answer of all of them is simply 'Never'? Actually, deep down in myself I don't really wish this to happen, too. You all know how my mindset works. When I get BACK to reality, it is simply like a daydream. But a sobering daydream...that sometimes I wish to come true. It's just a matter of time. Everything depends on the time. 

Jokingly, what keeps me wish the wedding to happen to me? The cake.

Toys

Good Rainy Mornin'.

Have I told you how much I love rainy mornings?

The mornings get mourning,
This holiday gets boring,
Everything gets appalling,
..This poem doesn't rhyme.


And yesterday, I revisited one decent oldies game, that you surely knows:

Toy Story 2 for the late PlayStation One system. We get to be the 'ol Space Ranger, in the rescue of his Howdy buddy. Now, what's more fun than playing around the city, and we're smaller than anything? Second to none.

We get to meet other toys, one of them whose task is to take the tokens we laboriously collect, for a token. Taken for a token.

Or even take us to a fight against a bunch of SLIME that magically manages to stretch out of a garbage can with the lid on the top of its head WITHOUT the possibility of the lid fell down to close the slime inside the can.

Sometimes fantasy is out of logic. Or what. But they had a bunch of fun, that ironically needs no logic to be understood.

To summarize:

THE TEN COOL THINGS OF PLAYING THIS GAME

01. We are smaller than anything, which means we jump on cars, slide on the hypotenuse of stairs, and ride on luggages.

02. Sometimes we run to compete with an RC, the Formula-One of toys.

03. Hey, and we gotta climb the vents, or even infiltrate into a plane...through its wheel.

04. We destroy silly or broken toys - an action you wish to do but you can't; unless you're a fellow toy.

05. Awesome upgrades.

06. And we sneak in the racks of a toy store. And drive in the trolleys.

07. ZURG!

08. Awesome locations.

09. SLIME!

10. Nice polygons for the year.

Most of the reasons don't really make sense, and most are repetitive. But hey, who cares.

Sometimes it's frustrating, but most of it is fun. Though I reckon the moment where I have to jump over the crates that were floating in a rain puddle. I got drowned so many times, and thus I lost so much lives. But that's the consequence of being a toy who mischievously play in puddles. Size DOES matter.

I'm now planning to write more poems.

I'll Be Looking for You

I have been ill recently. Some of my friends guessed this was because I had been thinking of something too hard.

Or someone.

True, their words are. A meeting in eye, a hand shake can mean a lot for one person. These are able to awake a strong feeling, deep in one's mind, and unwittingly is a strong affection toward the person's psyche, giving a strong pressure.

I was looking for a place to sit, one day, before I found an empty space. I took the seat, and at first, I realized not who was sitting next to me. I didn't even care. I started to look around, my mind flew up high.

Just before I realized her, sitting next to me. My vision blurred, I didn't see clearly. Still, I did not recognize who she was.

After around one minute, my vision started to form, and sitting next to me was a girl, I did not recognize, still. I didn't even know. But a sensation struck inside me, giving a tremble deep inside my heart. I finally recognized her as no one I've ever known, but an angelic form, of a girl I've been wishing of.

As long as I was sitting there, I peeked over her, with the hope she peeked me back and didn't recognize me peeking her; at the same time. At one moment, we stared at each other, and she gave me a smile.

I was stunned.

My biggest regret was missing a chance to ask 'What's your name?'. But regret is regret; it is irreversible. But until now, I'm still thinking of her. Anytime. Anywhere. Such slight meeting makes it rather difficult for me to keep my memories of her face, but I know the guide of feeling will tell m that it is her if I met her once again. Just if.

My biggest hoping:

Dear girl in pink, 

I do not even know you. I may not remember you, but the fact is that I'm thinking of you. And I know I'll know you when I see you again - if I have such chance. I hope you'd also like to see me. Or either, what I will do is:

Speciality and Certainty

It's official now: I'm an introvert.

I got the result of this, my 'speciality test' several days prior. It is quite stunning how the result can be absolutely precise, but when it strays, it strays too far.

Suitable Jobs

Manager, office manager, logistics, and supply manager

Accountant

Inspector, supervisor

Civil technician, flight engineer

Police officer, detective, military officer

Construction & building inspector

Jobs related to prodution concerns

I'm stunned to see how the word 'inspector' decorates most of this part. Since it is definitely related to the word 'inspection', the testers absolutely don't have any idea how careless I am. Even sometimes I'll let something that clearly in my sight out of its way, whether it's important or not. Flight engineer is another surprising element, since it's really ironic reckoning that I am afraid of heights. But I'm quite happy seeing detective in my list, so my experience reading Sherlock Holmes won't be a waste.

Mathematic Skills

This is very, really, perfectly, absolutely stunning. You gotta check the following passage:

Your Mathematic skills are above average. You are able to solve any equations, analyze numbers and data in such great skill and considered to be above the average.

Dear testers, you all have to take a look on my report card, in which Mathematic is the only subject that has the scores colored red in a row. In the range of A to D, my Mathematic score will definitely be F.

Personalities

This one's quite precise.

You really like to exile yourself, keeping all your minds inside your own self; especially when you're in a great trouble. It can be said that you're an introvert. When you're all alone, usually you'll be able to recall any memories about any person or happening specifically, also with precise details. And under your own consciousness, you have a great skill in art, and always try to enjoy the beautiful of art. You are also a realistic, logical, analytic, and objective person. You really like to do things in order, in the precise time that had been set before.The last, you are known as a responsible man - this is your natural talent.

And many more. It is just weird reckoning how they can write down all my personalities I have known precisely, through crosses and circles. Maybe the certificate's all true.

Talking about introversion always reminds me of my true nature as an introvert. I don't know, but what the result said that I prefer to be all alone and my mind works perfectly when I'm alone is true.

I recalled my mind when we were on a trip to a beach. I was still a little kid at that time. The beach was beautiful, and it was empty. My family went swimming, but instead I wandered around the beach on my own, collecting seashells, drawing on the surface of the sand, or even sat on the sand, tried to build a sandcastle just to see the waves brought it down - and then rebuilt it again. The circle was about to complete.

What I mean is, have I been an introvert even since I was a kid - without realizing it? There has never been such idea, until I found out this recently. And I suppose it is now official.

I Have No Idea

I have no idea what to write; but instead I want to write. Ergo, now this words have born.


Above are the simple examples of two contradictive things in a single mind. And it is quite strange reckoning that there are many things that really contradict one another in one's mind. Like Pizzas will never match with Chinese Noodle if they were eaten together.


What I'm talking about is that there are too many things in this world that contradict with each other. And ironically, two things that contradict can flip one person's coin from face to tail, and push the person to a great effort to flip the coin back.


Like abilites, wishes, with capabilities, competence, or goods. If these things I mentioned contradict and related to a person's aim, that will definitely ruin his or her main purpose, his or her aim, his or her dream.


I'm talking about this not just because that happen to me, but it is more to based on facts that I have seen, which are so much. The pious, we may say this as a trial. And as I said before, those things definitely will push someone to flip the coin back - pushing them into a great life struggle to find a solution toward it.


And if things like these happen, these all maybe fate's hands playing. You may ask 'Yikes, what shall I do?' or 'What's the resolve?'. Fate is always unpredictable - alas, to the resolve all I can say is:

Our Dearest Encyclopedia and Shakespeare

I'm trying to be a bit serious right now.


But before, talking about seriousness, I hardly able to be. I'm just this wisecracking, fun-loving, cheerful in an idiotic way kid. And beside, why should we be serious when we should not be serious?


So I have encountered a failure; yet again.


My memory suddenly recalled a moment when I was in a sick. It was measles. Or chicken pox. I doubt my memory, but I think it was measles.


Just assume it was measles. The story goes like this: My brother got the illness first. I did not know what, but Mum desperately tried to separate me from this 3 years-older-than-me boy. What I know is that two or three days later, I got the same illness.


What's good from being ill together is that we should worry not to be contracted by others. In fact, we spent a week playing together, sitting on the couch, holding the gamepad, staring at the television. In the whole one week. Mum took care of us (You should know that a person that had ever got measles cannot get another one; you should have known), and in around a week, both of us got free from the illness.


Quoting from our dearest Encyclopedia:


"Measles (sometimes known as English Measles) is spread through respiration (contact with fluids from an infected person's nose and mouth, either directly or through aerosol transmission), and is highly contagious—90% of people without immunity sharing a house with an infected person will catch it. The infection has an average incubation period of 14 days (range 6–19 days) and infectivity lasts from 2–4 days prior, until 2–5 days following the onset of the rash (i.e. 4–9 days infectivity in total)."


So, my deduction is, since we lived in one same house, and the measles spread through air, it was likely for me to be contradicted.


And we presume that talk above is a serious thing (Isn't it?). So back to what I was talking before, my reason to not being so serious is that; we shall enjoy live. Serious means we think hardly; means we extort our deepest mind. Being fun means we enjoy this life; even if it is to cover a sadness within.


As what people quoted:

"Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once."

- Lillian Dickson

"The healthiest response to life is joy."

- Deepak Chopra

"Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower."

- Hans Christian Andersen

And the flower should be what we call as 'fun', and since life is too precious to waste, let us spend it with joy. 

And our dearest Shakespeare said:

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

I swear I don't know who Horatio is. I don't even read Hamlet. But I'd rather look for unique things on this world rather than send out some phylosophical sentences.

Way to go, Shakespeare.