The Found and Sugar Heaven

Maybe a boy found his love when he is strolling through bookshelves, searching for his favorite cheap sci-fi books. As he opened some books, he noticed a girl across himself, reading entirely different type of books. From the corner of his eyes he caught slight sweetness, but was too shy to raise his head up. Time went by awkwardly when suddenly a little girl ran across them and cried indefinitely, attracting both's attention. The girl ran away, leaving both staring coyly one to another, and eventually shared their sweetest smiles and found their own way.

Maybe a girl found her love when she is gracefully swimming through the clear blue sea, when she noticed a boy helplessly drowning down. She chuckled happily and gloriously dived down and pulled the boy out of the water. Dragging him to the shore, she spent her time there waiting for the boy to regain his consciousness and when he did, he smiled a thanks and the girl sweetly replies, and they eventually found their own way.

Maybe a boy and a girl found one another in one lame party, when they were dully waiting in a queue to get themselves bowls of soup. She caught his eyes with her cuteness, and he caught her eyes with his mild manner. Trapped in the tedium, they would rather spend their time getting to know one another and threw aside their bad-tasted soups, and they found their own way.

Those were all fate's game, unpredictable and always come without any initial warning or signs. People may find what or who is destined to be with them in any time, any where. They will never know when it will happen. Suddenly, they will find the way and go along with it. And it is actually a beautiful fact, thing, or rule that exists in this world.

On a side note, I have also found my own way.

This is my source of life. Sprinkles and Cookies equal life, world and heaven to me. Or sugar heaven. Or diabetes.

Crossroads and Milestones

Believe me, I'm fighting through hard times. Hence you don't really need to question me much of why I'm being pretty quite lately.

Sometimes, and most times I always think life is screwing things for me, and it has been a waste. There have been so much obstacles, temptations, tests of some sort, and many more things you probably can't believe to happen to me. You can't imagine how much I've grown tired of such things. And in those times, I've always been thinking of giving everything up.

In all honesty, I've always felt that I've never got away from loneliness. And it is not the 'loneliness' you think I'm talking about; for all this time, I've never felt how it is to stick around with people who care for us and also we care for in anywhere, anytime. I'm always alone. It's like even if I'm gone with no trace, people won't bother looking for one. And in those times, I've always been thinking of giving everything up.

With all those things happening in my life, I am definitely caught in all kinds of desperation, in all kinds of fear, in all kinds of vacillation. All in all, I am caught in a crossroads, where I am left unable to decide which way to take. Sometimes I think that it is no use for me to be known to exist and thus it will be better for me to pull myself away from everything. Sometimes I wish things go very swiftly lest I can be set free of all those things I'm too scared to face. Lest I can face the Face I'm always curious to see and lest I can be in the eternal serenity I've always been dreaming of.

In those times, I've always been thinking of giving everything up. But in those times also, I've always been made aware that I have to believe. To believe that I still have that faith I've been standing for and with through all this time.

"Trust in the Lord and do good; so you will live in the land, and enjoy security. Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act. Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for Him."

(Psalm 37:3-5, 7a)

And then I know, this is the path I have to take. Leaving all the grace He has kindly given is not wise at all, leaving the One we can always rely on is never right. And from this on, shall I change the way I live; it is a milestone for me once more.

Milestones will not stop appearing in our life unless we want them to. Changes are never late to be made unless we won't make one. The world may turn rogue toward me, but should I be not unsteady, and must I stand on, with, and for that I've been standing for the whole of my life.