Black and White

Guess what has just arrived at my home a couple of days ago:

Now my fingers will seriously be very busy.

Snoozed

It was a very fine morning in another day of a week, a week that starts to force kids to rise and shine early in 6 AM to slip into their neatly ironed uniform that had been hanging dormant for around two weeks in the cockroach-filled cupboard. Apart from such internal disturbance, however, the morning was really fine. Drops of dew slowly flowed down atop the leaves outside the cordon of houses, fighting against the inertia caused by the freezing air. Little birds started to fly around and sometimes landed on the branches of trees, warbling indefinite yet quite good to hear songs. Breeze started to blow, causing the passing by old lady to shiver a bit. That was all, and it all was a nice view to view.

Even from within my cold-filled room, from on my tender and tempting bed, I perfectly knew that the morning was very good to enjoy as well as too good to be wasted by hasty business. But fate wasn't mine to control, and then...

Something bad happened. My alarm buzzed.

The tone I set for it was a beautiful melody, yet it sounded like an awful horror movie tune. It kept on buzzing and piercing into my cozily rested ears for minutes, that I couldn't hold such horror for any longer. And I did something...wrong, probably.

I snoozed the alarm.

The threat was taken down, but my mind immediately became uneasy though my eyelids were not opened even for an inch. It should be around thirty minutes past five when the alarm buzzed, and thus I should already be on my feet, to proceed with lazily walking down the stairs and to the bathroom. But I didn't. I stayed still on my bed, and even drowned myself even deeper into the clutch of the bed and pillows. And as the peacefulness took me away from reality...

BUZZ.

The horrible noise struck once more. And you wouldn't need to repeat the fifth paragraph since it is THAT obvious what action did I take. Such menace continuously happened up to the next thirty minutes...

Up to. The. Next. Thirty. Minutes.

By that time, normally I would've been ready in my dust-covered shiny black pair of shoes, but instead my feet hadn't even touched the floor. And either way, the school bus should've arrived in front of the front lawn of my house by that time. In an unutterable panic, I immediately jumped out of my bed and rolled down the stairs, crashed down into the bathroom and splashed myself with any water provided by the shower, tore the  towel and scatter it around myself to dry the wet, and finally reached myself in all the uniform and shoes, and bag and watch. All are done and I may have managed to make it into the school bus, and though I got a few deadly stares from the other passengers as well as the driver, more importantly I'd discovered my new arch-nemesis.

Q: Why do alarms have the SNOOZE feature?
A: The answer for this one question should be quite obscure. Since alarms were created by humans, who should've known perfectly their own nature, probably that's the answer: human nature. Laziness is a part of human nature as well as procrastination, hence the SNOOZE feature. Though arguably, the SNOOZE feature clearly destroys the purpose alarms itself.

Q: And if you have known that the SNOOZE feature on alarms will do you no good, why do you keep on pressing it everyday?
A: Related to the answer of the first question, and since I myself am a human as well, then it is the same source of answer: human nature. And I only do make a good use of the feature.

Q: Describe the SNOOZE feature in three words.
A: Evil. Tempting. Irresistible.

That Awkward Moment

I bet you all have ever been caught in moments where you feel awkward.

That awkward moment when you have just done with swimming. You head to the changing room which is also the restroom at one blow. You are heading to the locker, still wet and only with your pants on, when suddenly a dapper-dressed man from a party that is held on the poolside enters the restroom and stares at you. You stare back at him, and realize that he is dressed neatly in a set of suit, while you are half-naked. The man goes, and you are still wondering if you have been in the wrong place.

That awkward moment when you meet with a lovely girl somewhere. A lovely girl you would sacrifice everything to-yet don't and will never-know. You want to keep your eyes on her, however you know you can't since you don't want her to notice yourself or else, you are dead. So you stand in the point between far and close, stares at her and do nothing other. The girl then stands up to leave, but you don't want to miss her and thus you follow her from the back. Minutes go by and the girl suddenly turns her head back, and at the same time you pretend to turn away.

That awkward moment when you are relaxing a bit with your earphones on. Then someone calls you and asks you to do something, but thanks to the earphones that are stuck in your ears you pretend to hear nothing, even though the volume isn't that high that you can clearly hear what the person say. But then another someone approaches you and tells something good, and you immediately reply. The first someone figures out that you were pretending to not listen, and you don't have any excuse to say.

That awkward moment when you are in somewhere sometime, together with some people you know. But among those people you are with, some are the friends of someone you know, thus you don't know that some people. Then that some people you know leave for a while and promise to come back, but in the meantime you are left with those some people you are yet to know. Since neither you nor those people know one another, you try hard to avoid eye-contact with those some people so you will not be caught in an awkward interaction. Sadly, you feel that not noticing them will be too rude, but at the same time you can't and won't talk to those people you don't know. The only thing you bother to do next is praying for your friends to come back very soon.

Probably it is inevitable that we will never be able to run away from the moments where we are pitted to face awkwardness and the lack of knowledge of what to do. But probably that is life, and we indeed have to face them so that we can earn more awareness on how to face such situations we can't avoid. Unfortunately, born as a shy introvert, it is too much toughness for me.

That awkward moment when this is supposed to crack you up but you aren't.

The Found and Sugar Heaven

Maybe a boy found his love when he is strolling through bookshelves, searching for his favorite cheap sci-fi books. As he opened some books, he noticed a girl across himself, reading entirely different type of books. From the corner of his eyes he caught slight sweetness, but was too shy to raise his head up. Time went by awkwardly when suddenly a little girl ran across them and cried indefinitely, attracting both's attention. The girl ran away, leaving both staring coyly one to another, and eventually shared their sweetest smiles and found their own way.

Maybe a girl found her love when she is gracefully swimming through the clear blue sea, when she noticed a boy helplessly drowning down. She chuckled happily and gloriously dived down and pulled the boy out of the water. Dragging him to the shore, she spent her time there waiting for the boy to regain his consciousness and when he did, he smiled a thanks and the girl sweetly replies, and they eventually found their own way.

Maybe a boy and a girl found one another in one lame party, when they were dully waiting in a queue to get themselves bowls of soup. She caught his eyes with her cuteness, and he caught her eyes with his mild manner. Trapped in the tedium, they would rather spend their time getting to know one another and threw aside their bad-tasted soups, and they found their own way.

Those were all fate's game, unpredictable and always come without any initial warning or signs. People may find what or who is destined to be with them in any time, any where. They will never know when it will happen. Suddenly, they will find the way and go along with it. And it is actually a beautiful fact, thing, or rule that exists in this world.

On a side note, I have also found my own way.

This is my source of life. Sprinkles and Cookies equal life, world and heaven to me. Or sugar heaven. Or diabetes.

Crossroads and Milestones

Believe me, I'm fighting through hard times. Hence you don't really need to question me much of why I'm being pretty quite lately.

Sometimes, and most times I always think life is screwing things for me, and it has been a waste. There have been so much obstacles, temptations, tests of some sort, and many more things you probably can't believe to happen to me. You can't imagine how much I've grown tired of such things. And in those times, I've always been thinking of giving everything up.

In all honesty, I've always felt that I've never got away from loneliness. And it is not the 'loneliness' you think I'm talking about; for all this time, I've never felt how it is to stick around with people who care for us and also we care for in anywhere, anytime. I'm always alone. It's like even if I'm gone with no trace, people won't bother looking for one. And in those times, I've always been thinking of giving everything up.

With all those things happening in my life, I am definitely caught in all kinds of desperation, in all kinds of fear, in all kinds of vacillation. All in all, I am caught in a crossroads, where I am left unable to decide which way to take. Sometimes I think that it is no use for me to be known to exist and thus it will be better for me to pull myself away from everything. Sometimes I wish things go very swiftly lest I can be set free of all those things I'm too scared to face. Lest I can face the Face I'm always curious to see and lest I can be in the eternal serenity I've always been dreaming of.

In those times, I've always been thinking of giving everything up. But in those times also, I've always been made aware that I have to believe. To believe that I still have that faith I've been standing for and with through all this time.

"Trust in the Lord and do good; so you will live in the land, and enjoy security. Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act. Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for Him."

(Psalm 37:3-5, 7a)

And then I know, this is the path I have to take. Leaving all the grace He has kindly given is not wise at all, leaving the One we can always rely on is never right. And from this on, shall I change the way I live; it is a milestone for me once more.

Milestones will not stop appearing in our life unless we want them to. Changes are never late to be made unless we won't make one. The world may turn rogue toward me, but should I be not unsteady, and must I stand on, with, and for that I've been standing for the whole of my life.

Bowties

I'm starting to have a crush on them. But I did NOT say I would love to wear one.

Hatched

It's Easter. I had a holiday.

It is quite apparent that the holiday has planted deep in me my insomnia nature to be a part of my habit. I barely slept during the one-week holiday. As usually I yawn when it's close to midnight, I didn't at all. My eyes were completely wide-opened. I didn't feel growing languid; instead I felt like I was still on my peak. Even the darkness didn't make me feel sleepy. In the end, I went to bed not because I wanted to, but because I had to. Probably I would be kicked out of the house if I kept on making the noises while everyone's asleep.

While I did not sleep, I tried to list down what or not to do if you can't sleep. Thus follows:

01. Try to sleep.

02. At least close your eyes for a while. You may or may not end up sleeping.

03. Do not keep the lamps on. May bother the others.

04. Delve the darkness and the shadows. Hallucinations of terrifying stuffs are inevitable however.

05. Listen to some music. Calming, tranquil, soft and slow songs suggested. Heavy rock songs not suggested. And never forget to USE your earphones.

06. Study. I guarantee you will fall asleep no later than five minutes.

But it's Easter. It is not your time to complain over things. It's time to be grateful.

I came across my playlist. Reciting some words from the song 'Galaxies' by Owl City. A perfect example to be grateful over Easter.

Dear God, I was terribly lost / When the galaxies cross and the sun went dark /

Dear God you're the only North Star / I would follow this far

Oh Telescope, keep your eye on my only Hope / Lest I blink and be swept off the narrow road /

Hercules, you got nothing to save me / 'Cause you're not the blinding light that I need /

For He is the saving grace of the Galaxies

Well, it is what Easter means. The Savior has risen, so we shall be thankful for Him and be grateful since we have been saved. Even the eggs for me have some sort of meaning.

The eggs are shells. Shells of sin, death. For He has risen, the egg of death has been hatched. For He sacrificed Himself to save us from our sins, the shell of sins has been broken. We, the dust He formed, are all saved, and shall we thank Him for that. We may not be able to get rid of sins for the whole of our life, but since we have been given a chance of renewal, should we keep it low down. That is Easter to me. And I am trying to do so.

Test week ahead. Must study.